Sedate lady running 27 May – 2 June 2019 #amrunning #running


It was post-marathon recovery week this week so a lower mileage week with plenty of rest and rehabilitation. I feel fine, though – phew!

Monday – Staying an extra day in Liverpool (see my Liverpool Rock’n’Roll Marathon report here) we did a fair bit of walking today. But we also did meeting up with another blogger from the Weekly Run Down – the lovely Renee from Run, Laugh, Eat Pie! We also met her husband Ron and two lovely runners from York she knows from a Facebook group, Nikki and Charlotte. We had a lot of marathon chat and some food and coffee …

Ron, Nikki, Renee, Liz, Charlotte by Matthew

My Garmin says I walked 6 miles, anyway doing some uphill stuff on the way home was nice and we had a good look around.

Wednesday – Did Dave’s easy yoga class with Jenny and it was surprisingly OK – I’m back to being as good (or bad) at yoga as I usually am. This comes from NOT having pushed it hard on those last windy miles in the marathon – although I remain a bit disappointed by my performance as well as the support, I am NOT injured or overtired.

Thursday – I did keep havering about going for a run in the day in case I was rubbish or had lost my nerve. But I was able to meet up with Mary Ellen and Caroline early evening and do a safe 3 miles in the park. And it’s not true, I’m not ONLY happy when I’m running, but running does make me happy.

Only Happy When I’m Running

3 miles, 13:22 mins per mile (forgot to turn autopause back on so it was actually more like 12:30 mins per mile)

Friday – Easy Claire yoga, again managed fine though I didn’t do the one where you bend your leg back behind itself when kneeling as I just can’t do that.

Saturday – No officiating, no volunteering, a proper lie-in and rest day for the win.

Sunday – Out with a large group of sedate ladies for a canal run – what a lovely trip out, no worries about speed, just having a nice time.

I’m still hamming after all these years … (photo by Trudie)

Me taking a pic of Trudie taking a pic

My husband was working on his photo class homework (a photo essay) and asked for some photos mid-run – we got creative and here is my final pic …

My picture of Fay’s picture of us taking photos and Sonya’s picture of me taking a picture of Trudie taking a picture

Again, the autopause was off, so the speed is off but who really cares?

7 miles, probably about 13:30 mins per mile if I’d turned my watch to pause while we took pics!

You know what? I have the Bumble Bimble 10 mile trail race this month (no cut-off time) and the Race to the Stones 31 mile ultra (cut-off time: 12 hours, I did 31 miles in 9 hours on Sunday so I’m fiiiiine with that cut-off) and then no more races booked, and I’m fine with that. Very fine. I remember so enjoying my no-races, just get 1000 miles in a year times after the Canal Canter last year and I want more of that. Just running how I want, joining in with things. Yes, I want to get a bit more all-round fit, core and strength built up, but no racing for me for a good while. Unless I get into the London Marathon, of course …

Miles this week: 10 Miles this year: 447.2 (for 1,000 miles in the year I need 500 by the end of this month)

weekly-run-down-final-300x300The Weekly Run Down is run by two wonderful running women and joined by lots of other inspirational women. Kim’s weekly wrap is here and Deborah’s is here.

State of the TBR June 2019 and #20booksofsummer pile #amreading #bookconfessions #WolfsonHistoryPrize


Well I read seven books in May (not all reviewed yet) and a look at the Book Confessions tag will show you that just a few came in. There is a gap at the end of the front shelf but only the size of one book (and next time I see Ali, I’ll be presented with the copy of Daphne du Maurier’s “Rebecca” that I somewhat embarrassingly won in her competition). And inconceivably stupidly, I’m sure, I’ve not included any of my review books or my Iris Murdochs in my 20 Books of Summer pile for this year. I think this might be the year I fail!

A small confession

First off, new books in I haven’t told you about yet.

Gill had read “Narrowboat Dreams” by Steve Haywood recently and very wickedly brought it along to our regular Sunday coffee. So there it is. Then Kaggsysbookishramblings had recently read Vijay Menon’s “A Brown Man in Russia” (her review here) and very kindly sent it on to me (more about these below as they are in my 20 Books pile).

Then I was very flattered to be asked to be part of the blogging panel for the Wolfson History Prize 2019 shortlist (see the full shortlist here). I’ve been lucky enough to receive Jeremy Mynott’s “Birds in the Ancient World: Winged Words”, which is an exploration of the role of birds in Roman and Greek society and culture. I was aware of fortune telling using, um, birds, as such, but I am enjoying reading all the painstaking research that has gone into this entertaining book. The author wrote a seminal work on birdwatching and our modern relationship with birds, “Birdscapes” which went straight on my wishlist as soon as I heard about it.

My review is scheduled for 6 June and I’m also going to be reviewing it for Shiny New Books. The other reviewers are a great bunch and I’m looking forward to reading their thoughts on their books, too (there’s only one of us reading each book, so not so much a shadow panel or a book tour but yet another way of going about things!).

Now and next

So what am I reading now and next? I’m currently in the middle of Joanne M. Harris’ very entertaining “The Gospel of Loki” which retells the Norse myths from the point of view of Loki. She’s got his trickster ways and egocentricity down to a T, and I love all the little details like what it feels like to change from being a creature of chaos to being embodied. Although there are a few fights and bits and bobs, this is one that doesn’t mind where it’s read, so useful for mealtimes etc.

Then I’m also onto Jeremy Mynott’s “Birds of the Ancient World” we’ve talked about above, and it’s being prioritised of course!

Next up I have my Iris Murdoch of the month, “Nuns and Soldiers” and you can read more about that in my preview post here. I can’t quite believe I’m on Book 20 of my re-reading project, but I’m heartily enjoying it. I’ve chosen what I’m going to do for my next project already, but I’m not ready to share on here QUITE yet.

And then we’re on to the next review book, Michael J. Benton’s “The Dinosaurs Rediscovered” which is about the strides forward in science that have been made in the last 20 years, not just the renaming but finding out what colours they were and what coatings they had. It looks fascinating and appeals to the grown-up non-fiction reader and the little girl who loved dinosaurs in me!



20 Books of Summer 2019

I’m excited to be taking part in 20 Books of Summer 2019! I’ve done it since 2016 and have a dedicated page for it here with a pic of the books and links to all I’ve read (I’m adding that next so if you’re super keen and clicky you won’t see the updated version!). Here’s the pile …

and yes, there are 19: one of them is an omnibus! Here’s a bit about each one. As usual, I’m including my All Virago (and Persephone) / All August challenge in there, so it’s weighted towards those (also I should have finished my review books by August!).

I’m horribly aware that this pile isn’t very diverse. The weighting to Viragoes and Persephones makes it woman-centric but not that much on people of colour, LGBTQ people, etc. and I am sorry for that. I do have two books about or by people of colour in there, but then I also have two books on Norse and far-northern culture. Not sure about the LGBTQ quotient until I’ve read some of them. My NetGalley list is more diverse and I will continue reading from that amongst these and working to broaden things further.

Here are the non-Viragoes:

Gretel Erlich – “This Cold Heaven” – seven seasons in Greenland. A dense book but came recommended and I do like reading about Greenland.

Lynne Murphy – “The Prodigal Tongue” – she writes a blog about US and UK English and here’s the book, talking about the differences, similarities and histories.

Neil Gaiman – “Norse Mythology” – his retelling of the tales, can’t wait to read this.

Clair Wills – “Lovers and Strangers” – a history of post-war immigration to the UK

Harriet Harman – “A Woman’s Work” – her autobiography

Cathy Kelly – “The House on Willow Street” – her usual multi-character-stranded work, set in a seaside village outside Dublin this time.

Paul Newman – “Lost Gods of Albion: Chalk Hill Figures of Britain” – needs to be read before I run past the White Horse of Uffington (of which I am oddly afraid) when I do my ultramarathon in July.

Joe Harkness – “Bird Therapy” – an Unbound title I supported, about the value of birdwatching to one’s mental health.

Steve Haywood – “Narrowboat Dreams” – man amusingly travels the canals of Britain – maybe our ones!

Vijay Menon – “A Brown Man in Russia” – author from India does the Trans-Siberian Express.

And the Viragoes and Persephones:

Margery Sharp – “The Eye of Love” – you can’t beat Margery Sharp and this promises to be a great novel.

Ellen Wilkinson – “Clash” – the story of a political activist set against the General Strike of 1926

Henry Handel Richardson – “The Getting of Wisdom” – coming-of-age novel by this (female) Australian novelist

Henry Handel Richardson – “Maurice Guest” – a doomed Australian-English love set over 500 pages (this might be the one I swap out but Kaggsy gave it to me so that’s a good sign)

Angela Thirkell – “Before Lunch” – more Barsetshire fun. I have about six of hers TBR so have confined myself to just one for the moment.

Dorothy Whipple – “Young Anne” – her first novel and the last to be republished by Persephone and another coming-of-age novel

Ada Leverson – “Tenterhooks” and “Love at Second Sight” – I read “Love’s Shadow” a couple of years ago and picked up the omnibus also containing the other two.

Edith Ayrton Zangwill – “The Call” – a woman scientist abandons her career to be a suffragette.

Nicholas Mosley – “Julian Grenfell” – acclaimed biography of the First World War poet.

So there you go – 3 June to 3 September, 20 books, 15 by women, 9 non-fiction, will I read them all?


“The Sea, The Sea” round-up and “Nuns and Soldiers” preview #IMReadalong @IrisMurdoch


I thoroughly enjoyed my re-reading of “The Sea, The Sea” and caught a tiny new “Easter Egg” in the mention of someone who surely MUST be related to a character in a previous novel – read my review to find out more! I have been a little bit lax in replying to all the comments on the post but we’ve had a good discussion as ever, so far (with a few regulars missing thus far, but we know, don’t we, that I’m only worried about seeing discussion and what everyone else thought of it, and am not much bothered about when people post).

There’s another Goodreads review from stalwart first-timer Jo and she has some fascinating things to say, too. Brona has shared her review from far away. I’ve also been keeping this review by the very lovely Stuck-in-a-Book since TWO THOUSAND AND THIRTEEN for when I went through them all again. For the sake of balance, and a reminder that not everyone shares our obsession, and you can kind of see his point were we not a bunch of rabid IM fans! Do pop your comments on the review post even if you’re coming to this a bit late – I’d love this project to live on and be something people decide to undertake in the future!

Peter Rivenberg has done his usual sterling work sending me his covers of this month’s read. I love this first US paperback edition, beautifully battered as it’s lived with him since it came out, and a quote from Anne Tyler of all people!

He also added his standard 1980s Penguin – I have about a third of my original set in this edition (see below) and yes, that is a good sea monster:

“Nuns and Soldiers”

So moving on, we have another really good one that features a Polish exile, an ex-nun, Jesus Himself, some rackety artists in pubs and a terrifying sluice. What more could you ask for?

I have the usual three copies, noting that the first edition has a £6.50 price tag and cost me £10.00 39 years later (but it was a darn sight more expensive in between).

The cover of the first ed is a bit dull, isn’t it, although does indicate something of the topic. I also have the 1981 Penguin (I bought it on 30 December 1994, when I was 21, presumably with a Christmas book token) and the modern Vintage. The painting on the Penguin is “The Small Fish” by Max Beckmann although it looks more like a mussel to me.

The first edition blurb is the most informative and useful:

… and the other two are very similar, even going for the same Martin Amis quote!

I do love how Daisy goes from mistress to eccentric mistress to punk!

Are you going to be reading or re-reading “Nuns and Soldiers” along with me? Are you catching up with the others or have you given up? What’s your favourite so far? Your least favourite? Do you have a photo to share of you reading one of the books, or where you read it?

You will find a page listing all of these blog posts here, updated as I go along.

Book review – Balli Kaur Jaswal – “The Unlikely Adventures of the Shergill Sisters” #TheShergillSisters @HarperFiction #NetGalley


I was really excited and fortunate to be offered this book to read by the publishers because I’d read and reviewed this author’s last book, “Erotic Stories for Punjabi Widows” when it came out. I thought because of the number of non-fiction books I’ve got to review I was at risk of missing the publication date of 13 June, but actually this turned out to be the completely perfect book to read on my travels to and from and rest periods around my marathon this last weekend. An intelligent page-turner with great characters and an author with good technical writing skills made this book a must-read, and I sat and devoured the last few chapters when I got home!

Balli Kaur Jaswal – “The Unlikely Adventures of the Shergill Sisters”

(21 May 2019)

Like the author’s last book, this novel is set in the second-generation South Asian community in London, but now moving further afield to explore their roots. Fresh, funny and moving, you’ll get to know some great and diverse characters in this fantastic read.

We open with Sita Kaur Shergill, dying in hospital, overhearing a woman dictating a letter to her children to read after she’s passed away, and getting an idea which will finally pull her three daughters together into one unit (maybe). Rajni, the eldest, has always been the good girl (or has she?), a second mother to submissive Shirina and overdramatic Jezmeen. Now she’s facing a family bombshell, while Shirina is suffering in the  marriage she arranged online, and Jezmeen has just lost her job for accidentally attacking an exotic fish (yes, really, no gratuitous violence, though). The sisters were never close, and now they’re separated by time, place and events, until Sita’s final wishes force them to do a pilgrimage together through India to various important locations for Sikhism.

While Sita’s single motherhood then cancer diagnosis moved her towards religion and ritual, the three girls are more sceptical. Each has their own worries and they revert very quickly back to their old relationships, as adult siblings so often do. The two who are married have whispered phone conversations with their husbands, and Shirina appears to be holding something back.

Jaswal is also holding something back and she does this very skilfully, taking the book up a level from the chick-litty read the above might imply. We know something’s happened at Sita’s deathbead early on, and we also know something happened when she and Rajni went to India last, but these events are only revealed very slowly to the reader and/or whichever sister isn’t party to whichever pieces of information. It’s cleverly done and leaves you wanting to read on, but everything comes together convincingly and without annoying plot holes. As the book moves forward, we have a few flashbacks and understand everything, and then the epilogue is very satisfying.

The book doesn’t hesitate to cover serious issues – rape culture in India, protests, #MeToo as it applies to South Asia, infertility, arranged marriages and multi-generational living, children defying their parents AND bad grammar (the last leads to a hilarious and heart-warming scene near the end of the novel which I absolutely loved). Both white Europeans and those of Asian origin finding themselves in India are gently skewered but there’s nothing mean about the book, which is very warm and often very funny, too.

A great read which is for you if you like reading about families and siblings, about moving continents and finding your home, and about support and togetherness when things get tough.

Thank you to HarperCollins for making this book available to me via NetGalley in return for an honest review.

Liverpool Rock ‘n’ Roll Marathon race report


On Sunday 26 May 2019 I completed the Liverpool Rock ‘n’ Roll Marathon. This is quite a hard race report to write because I didn’t hugely enjoy it, but I don’t want to come across bitter or as a failed slow runner who wasn’t prepared. I worked hard at my training but on the day was disappointed both by the race and by what I was able to do with my training.

*** EDIT I have received confirmation from the organisers that there was no 10 mile 13:00 per mile cut-off time that was told to me by at least two other runners. What would you have done, though? Taken them at their word.

The training

I’d had a good training campaign although it did change quite a bit. As usual, I plotted out my long runs by weekend, then added in two runs or two plus recovery to get a total of 20 per week, with the occasional tempo run or speed work in there. I also did yoga once or twice a week and unfortunately missed strength training as was under the physio for a glute issue for a chunk of the middle and trying to do my exercises for that. I had a light cold and missed my last long run so did a 20 two weeks before the marathon, meaning I’d done one 18, two 20s and a 22, all at below 6 hour marathon pace. I’d tapered carefully and had one bad run on Thursday but was happy overall.

It’s worth noting that I’m also preparing for Race to the Stones Day 2 in July, so needed this to be my B race, and not to flog myself so hard I need too long in recovery before continuing my training.

Travelling up, expo, pant purchase

We got the train up with a few other people from club then I left Matthew at the train station and walked down to the Expo. I already had my number but wanted to pick up my tshirt in case my size wasn’t left at the end of the race. I saw the Gu stand and found they had chocolate mint available but didn’t buy anything. Ran into Nick from club but was on my own going out, so neglected to have a picture in front of one of the Beatles or RnR themed backdrops. Oh well.

The stage is set

Collected Matthew then we walked the extra mile to our apartment – perfectly fine but quite sparse if you wanted to actually cook (we requested a can opener and a hair dryer and made do with the rest). Went to the amazingly cheap Jack’s supermarket for any supplies we hadn’t brought (I had tuna and a bag of my cereal for the morning all measured out) and having come back and unpacked realised I hadn’t brought enough (under)pants so walked to Matalan and got some chocolate milk in Iceland, too.

Matthew cooked tuna pasta and reserved some tomato sauce and mushrooms for a recovery meal. We had a reasonably early night and amazingly slept really well!

Pre race

The race started at 10 so I had my pre-measured breakfast at 7 and was quite calm and relaxed until I found the pen I’d brought wouldn’t write on the back of my number! I managed to scribble Matthew’s number and Penicillin on it and hoped if I did collapse they’d find my parkrun ICE cards on me!

Kit lay. Black top as it was due to be cool and damp.

I’d brought two sets of kit and worn my elderly Guide 9s in case I lost anything but went for black and shorter shorts and left the hat. Wore a pacamac down and gave it to Matthew. We walked the 2 miles to the start and found Ruth (centre) and Bernice, who were both running the half.

We got a place near the start with Bernice’s husband, son and cousin and managed to see both of them through, as well as Afshin from club, plus two Bournville runners and some other local club folk.

Then it was time to meet the other marathon runners from club (all fast boys) plus Sedate Lady Trudie and club captain Barbara, both of whose husbands were running. We missed Colin out of our group pic but managed to find him later.

Nick, Dave, Paul R, Paul G, Liz, Steve, Tim (by Matthew)

Paul R was doing his 300th marathon so they gave him number 300! This was announced over the tannoy to much excitement (and I got a lot of worth out of mentioning this on the way round).

A quick wee (portaloo queues not too bad) and I went to get in my pen, way back at corrall 10. The lads were ahead of me of course. I ran into Jo Yarnall from Aldridge at this point, she knows my friend Dave (that always happens) and had spotted my running top. I’d planned to be in the front of the pen as the 6 hour cut-off started when the last person crossed the line. But when I got there, although I had number 10163 and had assumed numbers were sequential, they basically started with a 10 if you were in pen 10 (afterwards I discovered just over 3,000 people started the whole marathon). So there were about 60 people at most in my pen. I found the 5:30 pacer and told her I planned to stick with her for 6 miles to front-load myself against the sweeper vans with some 12:30 minute miles then drop back.

Off we started and here’s the course

Liverpool Rock n Roll marathon course

The half marathoners had gone to the south while we went off north for 9 miles, so there was no clash. I saw blogger Renee at 2 miles, such a cheering sight, hooray! I wanted to see the lads on the out and back but they were in the park at the top as we passed it. I was running with an amazing chap called Andy from Guernsey for most of the race on and off, a real showboater and ham, which I love. I also started with a very nice lady from Wales, who I saw on and off all the way round.

Because there was no crowd to feed off. Nothing really at all. The odd person and some people near the music stages. But very very low support, which was not what I had been led to expect.

Up to 10 miles – panic and horror

Trotting along under some illuminated underpasses and round football grounds, I kept ahead of the 5:30 pacer. But then some women who had done it last year told me there was a 10-mile cut-off at 13:00 minute mile pace (bearing in mind that the advertised 6 hour cut-ff is about 13:45 minute mile pace) and that last year they’d been threatened with sweeping and had to push back. This really scared me, and I had to make the horrible decision to push the pace to avoid this, knowing full well that I could not sustain that pace comfortably and would pay for it later on. It’s one thing to make a mistake with pacing, but doing this knowing the consequences was a bit heart-breaking, but not as much as being swept.

*** Note the organisers have told me and confirmed it was not the case that there was an extra cut-off

Miles 1 to 10 were between 11:50 and 12:43 for each mile (only one under 12). I tried to keep around 12:30 to protect myself but I did know this was likely not to be sustainable. I hit 10 miles at 2:04:34 – phew. But not to help matters, the mile markers were all out by about 0.2 of a mile (under) and the 10k mat was about a mile askew – I got a split of 1:02:00 for that but my watch says 1:18:00! I’m glad I wasn’t that much too fast as that would have been a 6-minute 10k PB … At some point we went through town by the Cavern Club and it was very very unclear where we were going, and I asked a marshal to go back down the course to help direct. I also had to ask someone to move out of the way as I was trying to run the marathon!

I did have a nice time seeing Liz from Malvern, Andy and various others, with Jo appearing from time to time. And at mile 9 Trudie and Barbara had popped out of their hotel at just the right moment to cheer me on! I took a lucozade sport and put a load of it in in my softflask of raspberry tailwind to top it up I had a gel at 1:15 and then every hour.

Miles 10-13

As soon as I hit 10 I started to drop my pace, so over 12 mins per mile and some power walking up hills. There were cobbles and hard paving and I slowed to help a lady and her friend, one sobbing, one consoling and tried to help Hannah get cheered up and on. We then approached Sefton Park where Matthew was, but not where I was, so I missed him (the route was confusing here). I slowed to phone him but hit 13.1 at 2:43:?? which is faster than a few of my half-marathon races. Let’s see it all drop off …

Boom. Not in a good way.

Miles 13-22

Park park park more park, I saw Matthew twice at an obelisk and had two bites of banana at 3:15 run time. We went up and back to Penny Lane where a stereo system in a van was playing just that song over and over! I ran into Jo there and she kindly took my photo (I took one for her, too). My only photo en route as I was concentrating on pushing then hanging on. As we ran up this longish out and back I saw my friend from the photo a day group Tanya’s sister in law, Salome, we’d tried to meet in the pen then there she was and a HUG!

Penny Lane

I saw a lot of different folk as we worked our way down to the river bank again. Jo, Andy, Hannah, some ladies from Sittingbourne and one from Ashford (go Kent), a couple of blokes, a lovely lady in a Harry Potter tshirt, and some power walkers in bras raising money for a breast cancer charity. It was  grind – I was OK but tired and walk breaks got more frequent – when I did run I was a bit brisker than normal which shows up in my time being a few minutes outside Birmingham where I ran almost continuously.

Kudos to the bands, marshals and water/gel stations, all still going as we went past in dribs and drabs. It was pretty lonely when I wasn’t trying to drag myself along with others.

Miles 22-end – wheels fall OFF

Oh, my goodness. We turned onto the waterfront and the headwind was horrendous. It was buffeting us and while I could probably have run more if this was my only race and I could destroy myself but it was SO disheartening. I had running in my legs, but then it was concrete paving with cobbled inserts running across, too.

It was here I came across Graham Lewis from Liverpool originally but living in Crewe. He’d done the race five times before and confirmed this was awful. We stuck together along the last few miles, which saved me really and helped him, too. I had a hug from the bra ladies when I broke down crying and saw Jo and Andy was there, too. Love the back of the pack for this. Graham’s girlfriend who had done the mile appeared near the end and ran alongside us.

We could see the finish. And there were Bernice and family, Trudie and husband Dave who got a big PB at 3:26, and Barbara and Matthew. Yes!

Graham Lewis and Liz finish the marathon. Picture by Trudie.

See how lonely, but running strong, actually. As promised, I got our folk to shout for Graham, too, which spurred him on and we crossed the line together. Had our medals put round our necks, which was a lovely touch, and there was no goody bag but bananas, water, haribo and bars you could pick up as you wanted, which I think was better and greener than that deodorant and leaflets you usually get. Andy from Guernsey had waited to see us through and I managed to hug a chap from Run Birmingham and see some other people I’d been running with, which was lovely as anything.

Slightly stunned Liz saying all the says so she doesn’t just stand and cry. (by Bernice)

Liz and Bernice with our cool medals

Chip time 5:55:28

Overall 3047 / 3116

Age category 198 / 208

Gender 1026 / 1073

Bernice had smashed her half and finished really strong – I’m so proud of her as she’s had some tricky times recently with her running. Ruth had had to leave but had had a good race and finished a year of 17 half-marathons in aid of the Alzheimer’s Charity.

Home and food

I had the rest of my nana and a choc milk and we walked slowly home – good to have a stretch. I missed the club get together as needed to feed and rest. Two weetabix when we got in, a shower and owwwww a new rub on my right-hand lower back presumably from my shorts. Then grazed and went to bed at 8. Set an alarm and got up at 11pm to have a proper meal, as I’d finished at 4.10 and knew I’d have to eat properly. I did pasta with the left over sauce, spinach and some cheese then sat up for an hour then back to bed. Slept till 6 and then 8.30, really well again and not too sore.

Recovery day

We walked down to the docks very slowly, taking some photos as we went, including visiting 62 Falkner Street, the scene of the first A House In Time TV series by David Olusoga, which was very exciting.

Then we went to a lovely cafe to meet Renee, her husband Ron and two York runners she knew from a Facebook group, all lovely people and there was much chat about the support etc which made me feel a bit better about being disappointed.

Ron, Nikki, Renee, Liz, Charlotte by Matthew

We went and found the Beatles statue we’d run past on Sunday

and to cut a long story short, went for a Pizza Express then a look round the docks and ran into my running club friend Suki and his wife and whole family (not up for the races, just random) and Renee and Ron again and then I had a cuppa and saw some people with Remix medals we’d seen at the Beatles statue. As you do.


Organisation was good, the pens worked and there were no pinch points. It was much smaller in numbers than expected, leaving me feeling lost and exposed. The 10 mile cut-off was cruel, if it was true (I have asked the organisers to confirm: I did meet someone who’d been made to take a short cut and didn’t know how long her race was going to be). If it wasn’t true, I bust a gut for nothing. If the wind had been less terrible I’d have PB’d but it wasn’t and I didn’t. Bands, water stations and marshals stayed to the end THANK YOU and the camaraderie was amazing but I would not do it again.


Sedate lady running 20-26 May 2019 #amrunning #running


Marathon week is here so I took it nice and gentle this week and tried to get rest and good food in …

Tuesday – ran down to Printigo, the excellent print shop which supplies our club tshirts, vests and hoodies, clutching a bag containing my orange and black club tshirts, to get my name printed on them (I got my name on my bib but it’s TINY and I do like people to call my name as I run by). Unfortunately it’s downhill on the way and uphill on the way back but it’s the quickest way to get there (there’s a bus but it;s infrequent and I didn’t see one on either journey). I did actually hit a few PRs this time, I think mainly because I usually run down on club night and up at the end of longer runs.

3.5 miles, 11:36 mins per mile

Wednesday – Dave yoga with my friend Jenny there, too – his usual routine so I just stuck with the course and just didn’t push it.

Thursday – Supposed to be a gentle and inspiring pop down to pick up the tshirts, unfortunately I could hardly breathe and felt terrible and ended up walking up the hill almost in tears. Fortunately I had my lovely sedate ladies to remind me that it was a) really hot, b) school pick up time with loads of idling cars and c) I hadn’t had a terrible training run this time round. It still really knocked my confidence, though.

3.6 miles, 12:28 mins per mile

Friday  – made it to Claire yoga and did most things except a side plank business. We had a lovely long yoga nidra guided meditation at the end – exactly what I needed and I came out stretched and relaxed.

Sunday – I ran the Liverpool Rock’n’Roll Marathon (and waved to Renee!) – race report to come later in the week. I will say it was a shame that I had to push it in the first half, knowing that would leave me struggling, because I found out there was a 10 mile cut-off at 13.00 minute miles (as you can see below, I beat the 6 hour cut-off at 13:28 mins per mile so a bit unfair).

5:55:24, 26.4 miles 13:28 mins per mile

Miles this week: 33.5 Miles this year: 467.2 (for 1,000 miles in the year I needed 416.6 by the end of this month)

weekly-run-down-final-300x300The Weekly Run Down is run by two wonderful running women and joined by lots of other inspirational women. Kim’s weekly wrap is here and Deborah’s is here.

Book review – Iris Murdoch – “The Sea, The Sea” #IMReadalong @IrisMurdoch


Gosh, it becomes hard sometimes to review these books, so well-known, even Booker Prize winners in this case. The writer of the introduction doesn’t help in this case, having drawn out the thread of the poet Milarepa, mentioned by James Arrowby in his ‘confession’. I am trying to just write about my reactions, the themes, the connections to other books and my feelings as I re-read – quite complicated and different feelings again in this book’s case. I’m so honoured that so many folk are still along for the ride with me and look forward to your comments and links as ever.

If you’re doing the readalong or even selected books along with me, or of course some time afterwards, do share how you’re getting on and which have been your favourites so far.

Iris Murdoch – “The Sea, The Sea”

(31 December 2018)

I think this book has the best CLOSING paragraph in Murdoch, doesn’t it?

My God, that bloody casket has fallen on the floor! Some people were hammering in the next flat and it fell of its bracket. The lid has come off and whatever was inside it has certainly got out. Upon the demon-ridden pilgrimage of human life, what next I wonder? (p. 538)

And really, even though the last section seems disjointed and jerky, messy and contingent, the whole book does seem to have been leading up to this point. Will Charles have learned any truths as he approaches whatever comes next?

My main and abiding thought about this book this time round (well, there are two: the other will come later) is that, as we read the ‘diaries’ and ‘notes’ of a retired theatre director who has come to the sea for peace and quiet, away from the theatre and its people, comes across his first love, tries and fails to rescue her and almost slips into oblivion, rescued by his cousin and his Tibetan ‘tricks’, it’s an amazing tour de force of getting inside one person’s head and detailing in fine and precise lines the exact way in which he fools himself, slips away from reality and bends everything he senses round to the theories he holds in his mind. Time and again, he will see something perfectly obvious and think and think over it until he’s bent it out of all recognition and convinced himself that his interpretation is correct, from the lack of post over a couple of days to the matter of who pushed him into the sea.

The other impression I have is of how horrible marriage is constantly, wearingly, described as being. No marriage is happy (even the ‘perfect’ one collapses) and the only way to be happy appears to be to shack up with someone you can never have more than a friendship relationship with, due to different orientations. This hadn’t struck me quite so forcefully before (but it’s there in a lot of the novels, isn’t it?) and this is presumably part of my long-running and rather frustrating problem with reading about marriage breakups and unhappinesses since I myself got married (which is five years ago now: come on, brain!). The worst thing that happens, though, is when Charles listens to Hartley and Ben arguing and then tells Hartley. Who of us who are paired would want someone to base their whole opinion of our marriage on some private bickering?! I really feel her pain when she finds out.

Anyway, there is also a lot more in this book. You want water themes, you’ve got water themes, with the ever-changing sea, its attendant monsters and cauldrons, its monsters and forgiving seals (what do you think the monster is? Expanded worm or acid flash-back, or just his psyche come to haunt him?). I know I don’t like to relate the author to the work too much but IM’s love of wild swimming does inform the descriptions. There’s not only the sea of course but all sorts of mists and rains going on, adding to the atmosphere in that special Murdochian way.

Stones are another theme throughout. Charles is collecting them from the start and gives important ones to Hartley (who abandons hers) and James (who keeps his, having asked for it). Charles puts them round the edge of the lawn, James creates a complex mandala which gets trampled (life getting in the way of a higher consciousness?). Hair is suitably fuzzy, frizzy and hyacinthine.  Rosina has a hairdo that comes out as “a rounded segmented composition which looked both complex and casual” (p. 335-6) which is so Murdochian you’d recognise it as such anywhere, wouldn’t you?

Talking of appearances, I note again that IM is very cruel to the ageing woman, or is so through her narrator, with everyone coming in for it, from Lizzie (“She is still quite good-looking, though she has allowed herself to become untidy and out of condition” (p. 45) through Clement’s death mask and Rosina’s ageing to Hartley, the “bearded lady” with her messy lipstick, and a face that’s “haggard and curiously soft and dry” (p. 122).

Of course we have to have someone in a garden, peering through the curtains, and Charles gives us that scene, even adding the farce of sitting on a rose bush. He also spies on his own house and James is found outside in his garden. We don’t have many siblings, but we do have the dual couples of Charles and James and their respective parents as a centrepiece, and there is doubling and echoing around them, even to the fact that both cause deaths specifically out of vanity.

Portents come throughout the book – the chimneypiece at Shruff End is full of demons and can’t be dusted, and the sea is pretty well always dangerous, so we know it’s going to get somebody (the locals act as a mournful chorus in that respect). When he’s got Hartley in the house (later in the book than I remembered), “I had wakened some sleeping demon, set going some deadly machine; and what would be would be” (p. 334). Buddhism is a big theme for James and his jade animals make it through to the end, always a sign of someone of interest.

But there’s humour too, in Charles’ dealings with the locals (“‘Dog kennel?’ I said to the Post Office lady” (p. 43), his meals, as mentioned, and the good-humoured fun poked at those who like to sing. There are asides, too: “as I could hwardly suppose that Rosina had arranged for me to be haunted by a sea monster I decided not to mention it” (p. 112). “Si biscuitus disintegrat … that’s the way the cookie crumbles” (p. 365) is small enough to forget then be cheered by every read. There’s also the shock of the phone ringing, and of the phone engineer arriving, and the laundry man.

The food is a special theme of this book, although unpleasant meals have been had before – they add a good note of humour to the book and there is in fact a cook book based on them. I love how the shop woman chases Charles down the street with news of fresh apricots late in the narrative.

Who is the saint and who the enchanter? Charles, director and serial marriage wrecker appears to be the enchanter of the piece, and is described as a demon. Gilbert even says, “You’ve always been a magnet to me” (p. 259). There are two contenders for saint in his father and James. His father has the advantage in saints of being less fortunate than his brother, and maybe James has sought to counteract that as he seems to have worked on his own enlightenment and makes more of an effort in his goodness than his uncle Adam. He’s learned Tibetan ‘tricks’ and makes an effort to tell the truth at all times, whereas Adam has retreated from the world and been mild, although he is described as having “… a positive moral quality of gentleness” (p. 30) and being “something quite else, something special” (p. 64). I actually found James a more attractive character this time round, perhaps because of his failings, especially in his friendship with Lizzie, and with his loss of his servant. Of course Charles in his desperate jealousy thinks of James as an enchanter: “James, who seemed to be a centre of magnetic attraction to the other three” (p. 353). I think they’re drawn to him in a different way, however (although he does exert fascination over people AND has a very tidy house …). But he does get in a “muddle” over Lizzie, which disappoints Charles greatly: “… this sort of squalid muddle. It’s a kind of ordinary sly human stupidity which I was foolish enough to imagine you didn’t suffer from” (p. 440). But James prevails with his slightly drunken sermon:

Goodness is giving up power and acting upon the world negatively. The good are unimaginable. (p. 478)

In addition to this stuff of demons and saints, there’s a strong theme around passing on or absorbing pain, the idea of ‘Ate’ which comes through in so much of IM’s work. Charles is the only person Hartley can inflict her ruined life on (therefore making her not the saint, just someone who is treated extraordinarily horribly). James talks persuasively about “Letting the poor ghost go” and not inflicting himself on Hartley any more (p. 379). Charles clearly states that while he believed it was Ben who attacked him, “Ben had carried my guilt” over Titus (p. 431). But then Titus carries away Hartley’s guilt: “Titus was the redeemer, he had vanished, taking her guilt with him” (p. 461). One important point here is made by Ben, and seems to pop the balloon of the entire book: “‘It’s no use talking,’ said Ben. ‘Like in the war, Something happens, you go on. You got to, eh?'” (p. 452)

As well as the saints and demons there is a strong thread about happiness running through the book:

One of the secrets of a happy life is continuous small treats. (p. 9)

I love the small nods to other books found in this one. Will and Adelaide Boase from “Bruno’s Dream” are mentioned early on and then near the end, too. Rosina is said to have never been able to play Honor Klein, a nod to the play of “A Severed Head”. And then, one point I hadn’t noticed before, there’s an actor called Erasmus Blick. Could he be Calvin’s son? Given the names, it seems plausible. As my husband said, she does like to leave “Easter Eggs” for the discerning and careful reader! Peregrine’s step-daughter Angela is a near-copy of Julian from “The Black Prince” and makes a big effort to become Charles’ version of Julian – to his credit he does resist this. James has left the army under a cloud, which is a little theme which does crop up a good few times, if not in every book, harking back to other slightly ambiguous figures. The telephone engineer may have been reassigned from London, where he bothered Hilary Burde! When James is fussing over returning to London and doesn’t get round to phoning James or the taxi man and considers getting the later train, we’re back with Bradley Pearson, stuck in his flat out of indecision in “The Black Prince”.

I think a big point of why this narrator, unreliable and horrible as he is, comes out better than Bradley from “The Black Prince” might be this fact that he tries to resist the temptation of Angela and has actually learned and changed by the end of the book, hasn’t he? In History Chapter 4 he even addresses the fact that we might see him as an unreliable narrator, not something I recall Bradley doing: “(though, as James would say, what indeed are facts?)” (p. 257).  Looking back at my re-reading of this book, it’s more horrible than I remembered, but James is a more satisfying character, so I think it balances out, and it’s certainly a worthy and understandable Booker-winner.

Please either place your review in the comments, discuss mine or others’, or post a link to your review if you’ve posted it on your own blog, Goodreads, etc. I’d love to know how you’ve got on with this book and if you read it having read others of Murdoch’s novels or this was a reread, I’d love to hear your specific thoughts on those aspects, as well as if it’s your first one!

If you’re catching up or looking at the project as a whole, do take a look at the project page, where I list all the blog posts so far.

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